Don’t place your lover on a pedestal,
out of your reach, outside the range of humanness.
You look your lover in the eye and love everything.
Every failure, weakness, crack, crumb, seam—love them.
It’s what my mistakes and regrets have taught me.
I’ve been talking to a “Dom.” We found each other on Fetlife about a year ago but things never got beyond texting and friendly conversations/sexting. I like to think it’s because I was so deeply involved with my Daddy at the time….
But now that I am completely available, I’m ready to create the D/s dynamic with someone new. But it just won’t go there. I explicitly TELL him I enjoy it when he is stern and scolds me. I praise him, I tell him it turns me on but it still isn’t a regular interaction.
I don’t know what to do. As a sub, the kinky conversations are fun but it isn’t what I NEED deep down. Maybe he isn’t a natural Dom, maybe he doesn’t have this deep rooted urge to be in control, but I have a deep rooted need to serve and give up control.
I swear I would pay a vanilla 21 year old college girl a million dollars to trade places with her. I’m cute, I’m fun, I have boys that want me BUT that’s not fulfilling enough for me and it’s frustrating!! I wish I was satisfied without this.
I don’t know what to do anymore. Help.
He loved the way she
slowly bent over in front of him
“I need to feel your
fingers digging into my hips
as though you’re clawing your way
inside of my wickedly wet flesh.
Mark me. Bruise me.
Make my legs shake
like the leaves do before
they fall from the trees in Autumn.”
So this time, but only this time,
he gave her what
she said she needed…
he wasn’t the type to acquiesce,
and this is what
she loves most about him.
Anonymous asked: Hey subbieblackgirl, How do you feel about dating in the vanilla world when your into D/s relationships? Is it possible....or a waste of time because all of your needs aren't getting attention.
I think this is a great question, and I think it all depends on a person’s needs.
If you are the person who is hardwired of BDSM and probably felt that way before you knew how to identify it, a vanilla relationship will most likely leave you feeling unfulfilled long-term. You might enjoy the companionship and other aspects of the relationship, but you will probably have some level of longing for that D/s aspect.
For some people, they can ignore (or try to) their D/s needs and focus mostly on whatever that vanilla person provides them. I think it all depends on the person. Overall, I’ve seen many people fail at trying to ignore their D/s needs and end up cheating in vanilla relationships. The only way this usually works out is if a person only has a casual interest in D/s and it’s not something that they truly crave. In those instances, a person is usually ok moving on with out that element.
All that said, I think that a person who decides to date vanilla needs to think long and hard about whether or not they can truly suppress that desire for D/s. I think that if one is unable to do that, then it may be a waste of time to get to know someone, become attached and then realize that ultimately you aren’t compatible long-term. Dating vanilla might be fun for companionship, friendship and outings, but I think for a person who KNOWS they need D/s, it’s best to align yourself with someone who feels similarly.